


What Goes Around...

by loveslashangst



Series: The Faithful!Verse Series [1]
Category: Torchwood
Genre: Crack, Faithful!Verse AU, Fluff, Gen, Jack goes undercover, Prequel, Screenplay/Script Format, Tosh is a Google Images badass, gen - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-06-20
Updated: 2013-06-20
Packaged: 2017-12-15 13:52:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,002
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/850295
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/loveslashangst/pseuds/loveslashangst
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Teaser for "Ecstasy". Assume this takes place sometime after "Countrycide" but before "Kiss Kiss Bang Bang". Tosh finds something on the internet that Jack wishes he could forget. Hilarity ensues.</p>
            </blockquote>





	What Goes Around...

Tosh: Oh my god.

Owen: What are you on abou-- Oh. My. God. Holy-- Where did you FIND that, Tosh?

Tosh: I was testing new face-recognition software using images from the CCTVs and cross-referencing with images from Google.

Owen: This is on the interweb?

Tosh: I guess so. I just put the team's faces in to test the software.

Gwen: What are you two -- Oh my GOD! *laughs* Is that Jack?

Owen: He wore it.

Gwen: That's really Jack, is it?

Owen: He actually wore it. My GOD, man, that was supposed to be a joke.

Gwen/Tosh: *burst out laughing*

Ianto: What's going on?

Gwen/Tosh/Owen: Jack.

Ianto: I don't want to know, do I?--- Oh my God, is that Jack in a corset?

Owen: It was a joke. A bloody joke.

Ianto: *raises eyebrow in disbelief* You played a joke on Jack involving men's corsets?

Gwen/Tosh: *stare expectantly at Owen*

Owen: *blushes to roots of hair* It was my first Christmas at Torchwood.

Gwen: (to Tosh) We'll want a few cold ones for this, I think.

Tosh: I'm on it.

Tosh: *hustles off to get a quartet of lagers from the fridge*

Tosh: *returns with inhuman swiftness*

Owen: *to Ianto* Thought only you could do that, Teaboy.

Ianto: Apparently, it's teachable. *accepts longneck bottle* Now about Jack and the corset?

Owen: *deep glug of beer* It was my first Christmas at Torchwood. I bought him a nice, gay clubbing ensemble just to tweak him.

Ianto: No opportunity for innuendo there.

Gwen: Did he take it well?

Owen: He offered to model it for me, the perv.

Gwen/Tosh/Ianto: *wait for the punchline*

Owen: What? It was very... uncomfortable for the next few days.

Ianto: *sotto voce* Serves you right.

Owen: What was that, Teaboy?

Ianto: I said "Could see how it might."

Owen: *skunk eye*

Ianto: *sips lager innocently*

Tosh: So did he model the outfit, Owen?

Owen: Dunno. I ran before he had the chance to finish taking off his trousers.

Ianto: *momentary dreamy look* 

Owen: *eyeroll*

Ianto: Right. I'm back. So if you didn't take this, how did a blurry picture of Jack in full face makeup, a mesh shirt, what appear to be -- my God, are those corduroy? -- low-  
slung trousers, and a very nice black vinyl corset get onto the interweb?

Gwen/Tosh/Owen: *amused looks at Ianto's precision*

Jack: What is everyone-- oh my God, where did you find THAT?

Tosh: We think it's rather fetching.

Gwen: It's just a shame you don't have any ink.

Jack: Ink?

Ianto: She means tattoos, sir. Care to explain?

Jack: Well it's not like it's anything any of you haven't seen before.

Ianto: I'm sure I don't know what you mean, sir.

Tosh: I actually think the eyeliner suits you.

Owen: Does actually. Makes your eyes look less squinty.

Jack: *look of amused surprise*

Gwen: *smirk*

Owen: What? I can notice another bloke's eyes without my wanting to bed the pervert. Thank you.

Tosh: So are you going to tell us the story, Jack?

Jack: *steals Owen's bottle* The new medic here bought me that ensemble for Christmas.

Ianto: We got that part already, Jack.

Jack: *mild glare*

Ianto: I mean, please continue, sir.

Gwen/Tosh: *Amused Girly Smirk*

Jack: Well, I'd been called in by Torchwood 1 for a bit of undercover work. There was a suspect loose that they couldn't handle alone.

Owen: So you got all tarted up and got a pic snapped by someone's really poor-quality mobile and what EXACTLY am I missing in this conversation?

Jack: I DID say undercover.

Ianto: I don't think he's going to tell us.

Jack: It's on a need-to-know basis.

Ianto: So are you a closet Graver, or was this just a one-time excursion into the sordid underbelly of London?

Jack: Who said anything about Graving? 

Gwen: What the bloody hell is a "Graver"?

Tosh: "Goth Raver". How d'you know about Goth raves, Ianto?

Ianto: I know everything.

Owen: Yeah. Right. Jack?

Jack: Need to know.

Owen: Yeah, well we do need to know. That's why we're asking.

Jack: It's a long story.

Tosh: Like any of us has a social life to speak of.

Owen: Speak for yourself, Tosh.

Gwen: Mine will keep, Owen, and so will yours.

Jack: *enigmatic smile* Need to know, ladies and gentlemen. Need to know.

Tosh/Gwen/Owen/Ianto: *various degrees of GLARE as Jack saunters off, sipping his stolen lager*

Ianto: Theories?

Gwen: He was out looking for a shag and someone talked him into partying?

Owen: He's a secret Goth club perv who's hiding a double life behind that Harkness pretty-boy smile?

Tosh: He's the leader of a secret cult of corset-worshipping aliens?

Ianto: Stranger things. I...

Gwen: You all right, Ianto?

Ianto: Yeah... I ... 'S nothing. I just thought....

Tosh: What?

Ianto: I thought for a moment I recognized... *shakes head no* Can't be.

Owen: What, don't tell us Mister Straight-Laced Stick-Up-His-Ass Teaboy was a party boy too?

Gwen: Oh do shut up, Owen. *to Ianto* Sure you're all right, love?

Ianto: Fine. *finishes lager in one long drink* Just fine. *leaves*

Owen: Now THAT wasn't suspicious.

Tosh: He'd actually make quite a pretty Goth.

Owen/Gwen: *puzzled looks*

Tosh: He's got nice eyes. A little eye-liner. Some lippie to emphasize that bow mouth. Spike his hair. Put him in black. Very pretty.

Owen: Just when I think Tosh can't possibly get any weirder. I'm off to get a drink I get to keep. *leaves*

Gwen/Tosh: *conspiratorial look*

Gwen: Can you clean it up a bit, then?

Tosh: Sure. Resolution is terrible but a little tweak here. Refine that... Presto! How many copies?

Gwen: One for me, one for Ianto, and at least three for Andy.

Tosh: For the station?

Gwen: They won't have had a laugh this good since the boys locked themselves in the Hub.

Tosh: *giggles* Evil bitch.

Gwen: Why Tosh, you do always say the nicest things.

Gwen/Tosh: *conspiratorial grin*


End file.
